My Trip to Florida, in Pictures Texted to My Neighbor

IMG_3290Steak n’ Shake of Pensacola, after I arrived eight hours late at a different airport than scheduled. (I went for the chocolate banana shake, because I appreciate the classics.)

IMG_3291The same. I had the veggie melt, which was quite nice after I denuded it of tomatoes and onions.

IMG_3293Buffalo Jack’s, Destin. The greatest thing about this picture is that it’s take two. Originally, Monsieur Buffalo did not have the hat. The nimble busboy, seeing I was taking a picture, insisted on leaping onto the counter and restoring the hat (which is propped to ideal jauntiness with a concealed cup). One of his coworkers had forgotten her Santa hat the day before,  he explained, so they liberated the buffalo’s hat to conceal her unfestive shame.

IMG_3294This is not a thing, Home Depot.

IMG_3295But this is apparently still a thing at Publix. Ok.

IMG_3321Must we? I guess so.

IMG_3344Some foods are carrier methods for ketchup. See also French fries, home fries, and – once upon a time, for me – turkey.

IMG_3345This baby’s got something to say.

My mom pointed out how bizarre this is, beyond the hot truth this baby is clearly laying out for you. Why the devil would you print your baby’s picture on a bib, thus ensuring that said baby will dribble food and shit all over a picture of herself? What point are you trying to make?

IMG_3346CVS. No.

IMG_3347My stepsister and I both assumed that these were fruit-referencing sugar drinks meant for kids you don’t care about very much. Then we saw the “ALC 17% BY VOLUME” part.

These just hang out in the middle of the gas station, across the street from the beach. Their colors make my teeth hurt.

IMG_3349I saw exactly two cowboy hats in IAH the second time through – which was, gloriously, a mere two hours. I’m going to do everything I can to avoid Houston for a while, having spent upwards of 10 hours there inside of a single week. Bleh.

IMG_3352SEA airport, women’s bathroom, 12:15 am. The time and place for a certain brand of salvation, it seems.

I proposed a day trip to my family, but I realized I was more interested in hanging out with them and the dogs and just cooking and playing cards, so we didn’t go to Apalachicola or Seaside or anywhere else new or unvisited for some years. I do have one more panhandle post on its way, but this ended up largely being a trip whose contents were outside of the scope of this blog.

And, really, I think that means I did it right.